you guys have probably already seen these websites, but i present to you...
overheard in new york and it's slightly less humorous companion site, overheard in the office for your enjoyment.

i also proffer a small sampling...

Drunk guy: If you come in and dance with me, I'll buy you a drink.
Sober girl: No, thanks. There's a five dollar cover.
Drunk guy: If you come in and dance with me, I'll give you five dollars.
Sober girl: I don't dance.
Drunk guy: I think you're hot.
Sober girl: I'm sorry...Watch out. You're setting yourself on fire.
Drunk guy: I'm on fire for you, baby!

Kid #1: Paper beats rock. BAM! Your rock is blowed up!
Kid #2: "Bam" doesn't blow up, "bam" makes it spicy. Now I got a SPICY ROCK! You can't defeat that!