An open letter to ... myself?

Hello Chris Thompson,
My name is ... Chris Thompson. No relation, I think. Unless you're from Minnesota, then we might be 5th cousins 4 times removed or some nonsense. I was born Christopher Dodd Thompson on May 14th, 1982, in delightful Somerville, NJ. That's just to let you know, to make sure we aren't the same person. I have a website: eagleapex.com, a neighborhood blog: bodiner.blogspot.com, And like you, am a reader of Boingboing. I even had a post a while back about some found punk photos.
So basically I have a challenge for you: whoever gets famous first, gets $20. I shall explain. Ever hear of Tom Cruise? No, not THAT Tom Cruise. Tommie P Cruise, from Tallassee, Alabama. No? That's right, no one else has either. That's because Mr. Scientology got it his fame first, so crazy-Tom Cruise gets the recognition. I think the Film Actors Guild (ha) makes you register your name, like a patent or something. (I wonder if they'll run out of realistic names and start naming people Greogy Hallsyf and stuff.) So even if Tommie P. Cruise becomes the star of a new E! reality show, he'll always be compared to Jerry MacGuire. Basically what I'm saying is that if I win, you might have to start going by Kriss Tomsen just to get some showing on Google. And well, if I lose, then I'll go by my middle name. Dodd is kinda cool.
So anyway, let me know if you accept, and we'll agree to some terms, like how to judge fame, and when to start the 15 minute timer. By the way, I hope you don't think of this letter as combative or anything. I just thought it would be funny. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Chris Thompson